Matmapflow is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unsympathetic crane.

Matmapflow created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Matmapflow, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Matmapflow, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Matmapflow's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Matmapflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near porpoises while wearing magenta shoes and balancing five iron spheres on your arms.

2. Always treat birds with great respect.

3. Always obey Matmapflow's priests.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Never talk about dark matter.