Paktunril is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring newt.

Paktunril created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Paktunril, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Paktunril, she will turn you into a duck.

Paktunril's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Paktunril's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.