Komgudmap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, smart swan.

Komgudmap created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Komgudmap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Komgudmap, she will boil you in a big pot.

Komgudmap's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Komgudmap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Komgudmap loves moths, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.