Xinfaslarg is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, conceited jaguar.

Xinfaslarg created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Xinfaslarg, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Xinfaslarg, she will turn you into a tree.

Xinfaslarg's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Xinfaslarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always look after injured manatees.

4. Xinfaslarg must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.