Ganafsog is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful walrus.

Ganafsog created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganafsog, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ganafsog, it will be very sad.

Ganafsog's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Ganafsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near ducks while wearing pink tights and balancing five titanium spheres on your neck.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always look after injured badgers.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.