Appcissgar is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, confident jackal.

Appcissgar created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appcissgar, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Appcissgar, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Appcissgar's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Appcissgar's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow otters, for they are unholy.

2. Always look after injured dogs.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.