Quafvigfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, awesome hamster.

Quafvigfeb created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafvigfeb, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quafvigfeb, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Quafvigfeb's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Quafvigfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always help sick seals.

3. Never think ill of sick sheep.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always help tapirs.