Affodlak is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, boastful donkey.

Affodlak created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Affodlak, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Affodlak, it will make you grow a tail.

Affodlak's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Affodlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Affodlak loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never jump in holy places.