Wotxucknig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage manatee.

Wotxucknig created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotxucknig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wotxucknig, she will turn you into a plant.

Wotxucknig's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Wotxucknig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Always obey Wotxucknig's priests.

3. You must never eat peanuts.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

5. Do not cook food in pots.