Flagcepfotyik Ranpangsad Yatkarwee is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, astonishing hyena.

Flagcepfotyik Ranpangsad Yatkarwee created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagcepfotyik Ranpangsad Yatkarwee, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flagcepfotyik Ranpangsad Yatkarwee, he will destroy your home planet.

Flagcepfotyik Ranpangsad Yatkarwee's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Flagcepfotyik Ranpangsad Yatkarwee's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not hurt porpoises.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

5. Never think about special relativity near tortoises while wearing orange dresses and balancing six gold spheres on your legs.