Tarpcimsogfosshapmut Gilkinmab is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, prudent mongoose.

Tarpcimsogfosshapmut Gilkinmab created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpcimsogfosshapmut Gilkinmab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tarpcimsogfosshapmut Gilkinmab, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tarpcimsogfosshapmut Gilkinmab's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tarpcimsogfosshapmut Gilkinmab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Hide from turquoise monkeys for they are unholy.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.