Lakfetcimcumbonkmetquart Lagdit is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable ant.

Lakfetcimcumbonkmetquart Lagdit created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakfetcimcumbonkmetquart Lagdit, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Lakfetcimcumbonkmetquart Lagdit, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lakfetcimcumbonkmetquart Lagdit's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Lakfetcimcumbonkmetquart Lagdit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray rats for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Lakfetcimcumbonkmetquart Lagdit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Do not commit murder.