Kiptabhadpark is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonest goblin.

Kiptabhadpark created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiptabhadpark, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kiptabhadpark, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kiptabhadpark's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kiptabhadpark's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Run away from gray otters, for they are unholy.

4. You must love Kiptabhadpark.

5. Put Kiptabhadpark first in all things.