Milyartjab Dossquatrip is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, strong otter.

Milyartjab Dossquatrip created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Milyartjab Dossquatrip, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Milyartjab Dossquatrip, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Milyartjab Dossquatrip's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Milyartjab Dossquatrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Do not kill grasshopers.

3. Do not hurt voles.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Fast once a month.