Barnnadnig is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, capable armadillo.

Barnnadnig created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Barnnadnig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Barnnadnig, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Barnnadnig's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Barnnadnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near foxes while wearing violet tights and balancing four zinc spheres on your chest.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Barnnadnig.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not commit murder.