Hitdubtim Quagstafcad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, awesome hedgehog.

Hitdubtim Quagstafcad created the Large Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Hitdubtim Quagstafcad, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hitdubtim Quagstafcad, she will turn you into a frog.

Hitdubtim Quagstafcad's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Hitdubtim Quagstafcad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Always look after injured monkeys.

3. Do not keep eight seals in a large pit.

4. Hitdubtim Quagstafcad loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.