Padgofnan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, boastful whale.

Padgofnan created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padgofnan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Padgofnan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Padgofnan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Padgofnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Hide from green goats for they are unholy.

5. Always obey Padgofnan's priests.