Kemvilmil Meggofhap is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, humane squid.

Kemvilmil Meggofhap created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemvilmil Meggofhap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kemvilmil Meggofhap, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kemvilmil Meggofhap's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Kemvilmil Meggofhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not hurt mice.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not leap in public.