Yambogmum is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, blissful seal.

Yambogmum created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yambogmum, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yambogmum, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yambogmum's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yambogmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never eat apples.