Fetdudkam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, blissful capybara.

Fetdudkam created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetdudkam, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fetdudkam, he will not care at all.

Fetdudkam's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Fetdudkam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fetdudkam.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Feed all hungry monkeys.

4. Fetdudkam loves moths, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not listen to music.