Tafflapmipapp is a god.

It takes the form of a large, fast clam.

Tafflapmipapp created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafflapmipapp, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tafflapmipapp, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Tafflapmipapp's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tafflapmipapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tafflapmipapp's priests.

2. Tafflapmipapp must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not take Tafflapmipapp's name in vain.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Pray towards the north.