Dampangont is a god.
It takes the form of a microscopic, blissful
grasshopper.
Dampangont created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Dampangont, it will celebrate by creating some universes.
If you do not believe in
Dampangont, it will throw large rocks at you.
Dampangont's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.
Dampangont's Holy Commandments1. Learn nine new languages a year.
2. Your children must be taught to worship Dampangont.
3. Do not speak about pineapples.
4. Put Dampangont first in all things.
5. Hide if four grasshopers approach from the west.