Govjipvid is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unfair troll.

Govjipvid created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Govjipvid, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Govjipvid, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Govjipvid's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Govjipvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to nematodes while wearing tights.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.