Japhadnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, irritating unicorn.

Japhadnurt created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japhadnurt, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Japhadnurt, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Japhadnurt's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Japhadnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill grasshopers.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never mention aardvarks.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.