Biglataf is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciful troll.

Biglataf created the Whirlpool Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Biglataf, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Biglataf, he will laugh at you.

Biglataf's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Biglataf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four gold sculptures of Biglataf on top of important buildings.

2. Put Biglataf first in all things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always pray immersed in water.