Omtcenrut is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, idiotic zebra.

Omtcenrut created time and space eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtcenrut, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Omtcenrut, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Omtcenrut's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Omtcenrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dolphins.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near doves while wearing cyan jumpers and balancing six tin spheres on your arms.

3. You must love Omtcenrut.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Omtcenrut.

5. Fast once a month.