Vaddanlat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, weak newt.

Vaddanlat created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vaddanlat, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vaddanlat, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vaddanlat's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Vaddanlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of nuts to pigs while wearing pink stockings.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never mention cats.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.