Kopgetsog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, fast whale.

Kopgetsog created the Sol system three million years ago.

If you believe in Kopgetsog, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kopgetsog, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kopgetsog's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Kopgetsog's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink tapirs for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kopgetsog.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Kopgetsog on top of important buildings.