Yimyartyim is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, intelligent raven.

Yimyartyim created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yimyartyim, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yimyartyim, she will turn you into a tree.

Yimyartyim's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Yimyartyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Horses are not to be trusted.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.