Narkoncut is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, able dove.

Narkoncut created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narkoncut, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Narkoncut, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Narkoncut's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Narkoncut's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest magenta.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Run away if four moths approach from the east.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.