Dutfutfig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, witty parrot.

Dutfutfig created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutfutfig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dutfutfig, she will ignore you.

Dutfutfig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dutfutfig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never think about optics near otters while wearing mauve shirts and balancing five silver spheres on your arms.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Always help bats in need.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near ducks while wearing pink kilts and balancing seven titanium spheres on your head.