Kikcunhab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust squid.

Kikcunhab created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikcunhab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kikcunhab, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kikcunhab's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Kikcunhab's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never eat onions.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.