Zimnurlmet is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, pitiless scorpion.

Zimnurlmet created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimnurlmet, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Zimnurlmet, she will curse you with boils.

Zimnurlmet's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Zimnurlmet's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Never think ill of sick gulls.