Dodbigditbadmobsog is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, ruthless goblin.

Dodbigditbadmobsog created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dodbigditbadmobsog, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Dodbigditbadmobsog, she will turn you into a slug.

Dodbigditbadmobsog's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Dodbigditbadmobsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about strawberries.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near porpoises while wearing white scarves and balancing three platinum spheres on your back.

5. Worship no other gods but Dodbigditbadmobsog.