Quamlibdob Kangidgab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil crocodile.

Quamlibdob Kangidgab created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Quamlibdob Kangidgab, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quamlibdob Kangidgab, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quamlibdob Kangidgab's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Quamlibdob Kangidgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not listen to music.