Kamfomflab Ligquagwat is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, compassionate tortoise.

Kamfomflab Ligquagwat created the Sombrero Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamfomflab Ligquagwat, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kamfomflab Ligquagwat, it will destroy your home solar system.

Kamfomflab Ligquagwat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kamfomflab Ligquagwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.