Vadcetfun Cudruttdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, confident tortoise.

Vadcetfun Cudruttdoss created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadcetfun Cudruttdoss, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vadcetfun Cudruttdoss, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vadcetfun Cudruttdoss' most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Vadcetfun Cudruttdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Run away from pink swans, for they are unholy.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Do not speak about limes.