Abjattadwaddudlapmanven is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, vain newt.

Abjattadwaddudlapmanven created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Abjattadwaddudlapmanven, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Abjattadwaddudlapmanven, she will laugh at you.

Abjattadwaddudlapmanven's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Abjattadwaddudlapmanven's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not eat tomatoes.

3. You must love Abjattadwaddudlapmanven.

4. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never mention eagles.