Yattbogjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unselfish troll.

Yattbogjarn created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yattbogjarn, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yattbogjarn, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yattbogjarn's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Yattbogjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Yattbogjarn on top of important buildings.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.