Dagjapgabnut is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, duplicitous jaguar.

Dagjapgabnut created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagjapgabnut, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dagjapgabnut, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dagjapgabnut's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Dagjapgabnut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never wear orange rings.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Never hurt grasshopers.

5. Always stare at clouds.