Dubgovarn is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, caring jaguar.

Dubgovarn created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubgovarn, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dubgovarn, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dubgovarn's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Dubgovarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near snakes while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing four gold spheres on your feet.

2. Always treat foxes with great respect.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Dubgovarn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.