Quafominabkikfudaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent cat.

Quafominabkikfudaf created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quafominabkikfudaf, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quafominabkikfudaf, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Quafominabkikfudaf's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Quafominabkikfudaf's Holy Commandments

1. Quafominabkikfudaf must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

5. Do not skip in public.