Hogdobflamlat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate troll.

Hogdobflamlat created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogdobflamlat, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hogdobflamlat, she will turn you into a plant.

Hogdobflamlat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hogdobflamlat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine mites approach from the south.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.