Funbencid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonest fairy.

Funbencid created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funbencid, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Funbencid, he will torture you forever.

Funbencid's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Funbencid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill dogs.

2. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

3. Always look after injured turtles.

4. Never jump in the presence of otters.

5. You must never eat beans.