Bimspaglan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, omnipotent grasshopper.

Bimspaglan created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimspaglan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bimspaglan, she will remove you from existence.

Bimspaglan's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bimspaglan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.