Fudflabxem is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, generous turtle.

Fudflabxem created the solar system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudflabxem, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fudflabxem, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fudflabxem's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Fudflabxem's Holy Commandments

1. Fudflabxem loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Always obey Fudflabxem's priests.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Never write about archaea.