Zodvidjapbopzanjonhak is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, quiet fish.

Zodvidjapbopzanjonhak created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Zodvidjapbopzanjonhak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zodvidjapbopzanjonhak, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Zodvidjapbopzanjonhak's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Zodvidjapbopzanjonhak's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.