Gunmatwee is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, moody naga.

Gunmatwee created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunmatwee, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gunmatwee, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gunmatwee's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Gunmatwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of squirrels.

2. Do not speak about figs.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never paint your arms cyan.

5. Always pray immersed in water.