Jipbomfed Dissandrat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, wise toad.

Jipbomfed Dissandrat created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipbomfed Dissandrat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jipbomfed Dissandrat, he will try to impress you with trees.

Jipbomfed Dissandrat's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Jipbomfed Dissandrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark energy.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near bats while wearing turquoise shoes and balancing six silicon spheres on your face.