Fligbimcun is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, dishonest newt.

Fligbimcun created a strange quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fligbimcun, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fligbimcun, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Fligbimcun's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Fligbimcun's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never feed lots of parsnips to birds while wearing mauve hats.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Fligbimcun on top of all buildings.